First note/journal!

Hi everyone! I'm Ryo, from Japan.

I just started joined using this website for learning in hopes to learn English and make friends who are also studying foreign languages!

I know that my english expression may be incorrect and vocabulary may be *poor/inexperienced, and I may also makes mistakes in grammar. So if you find my mistakes or have sentences to recommend, please tell let me know!


First of all, I'd like to introduce myself, especially about what I have interested in.

I'm a graduate student majoring in environmental studies. Now I'm currently working with my master thesis. The topic of my thesis is a **The Regional Governance of Transboundary Water Resources in International Rivers. So In short, I am researching rivers.

It may sound funny strange or ridiculous to research rivers in a graduate school, but I believe that proper management of rivers and water resources are ***quite important/crucial for most ****of us people.

Some of you may know that the origin of the word "rival" comes from "river". People were fighting over water resources in a history. Some says that people/tribes/populations will start wars for seeking over water-not for oil nor food- because people cannot live without water. Of course, this might be an exaggerated example, but small political and economic conflicts are actually happening in the world.
So that's why I had an interest in rivers and its management.

:)

Very well written! The only fixes I made are in minor grammar errors and sentence fluidity ^^ 

*The usage of the word 'poor' is appropriate and understandable, but the sentence is a little awkward. I recommend using 'inexperienced'. 

**As the topic and (title?) of your thesis, I highly recommend Capitalizing all of the words contained in it, as it is an important noun! 

***This is a small grammar mistake-- using 'quite' to describe 'important' is unnecessary because Important describes itself-- if something is important, it is not necessary to describe it further. (Making the use of 'quite' redundant) 

     If you wish for your point to be even MORE important, crucial is a good word, as it means the same thing but on a greater degree.

**** The word 'us' must be used carefully in formal writing, as 'us' brings up the question-- who is 'us', exactly? The group who care for the environment? The entire world? Dog lovers? Due to its vagueness, it's better to use a group-specific word or explain what 'us' means before using it : ) 

     Ex. Life without bamboo is hard for us pandas (correct) vs. Life is hard without bamboo for us

         Who is the 'us'? In formal writing, it's important to address that! 

Thank you for reading my lengthy corrections, and I hope that they may be helpful for you! ^^