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The life is like a dancing floor.... The life is like a dancing floor.... sometimes it plays wonderful songs It Makes felicity becomes a eternal dance We wanna dancing forever Even we knowing that "forever " always ends. Sometimes the songs are so sad, like a acute whistle from a abyss They're like siren songs leading us to such deep dive, a gray dive, without shine. And you stay stoped, no mood even to shake yourself At this time you need somebody to say you.. - come on, i know this song, you can do it, let's try. - but i heard the sound from abyss. - Let's go, i've known this abyss, i can also show you how to fly.

Corrections · 4

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The Life is like a dance dancing floor.... 


Sometimes it plays playing wonderful songs
It makes felicity [happiness?] becomes an eternal dance
We wanna [note: do not use 'wanna' in formal writing, use 'want to'] dance dancing forever
Even though we knowing that "forever " always ends.

Sometimes the songs are so sad, like an acute whistle from a the abyss
They're like siren The songs are like sirens leading us [calling us?] to such dive to the deep where it is grey [bleak?] and where the sun does not shine shine. [I restructured this as it sounded very unatural]


And you remain stay motionless stoped, unable to even shake move
At this point in time you need somebody to say you:

- "Come on, I know this song! You can do it, let's try."

- "But I heard the sound from the abyss."

- "Let's go, I've known this abyss, I can also show you how to fly."



Good work! Very poetic using a lot of literary techniques like imagery and similies. Some thing you wrote were fine gramatically, but I altered them to sound more natural, I hope you don't mind.

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