HELP! this is my homework

I've always believed that hard-working is the most effective weapon or the best power to change one's life and struggle for destiny.This is Michael Yu at The Speak opening.
To believe in the power of hard-working is the theme. He used his experience to proves the power of hard-working.He was born in a small village and his family was not rich poor. But he was reluctant to be a farmer like his parents.Instead of farming,he wanted to leave the small village for an international city.Therefore he worked hard and then his dream was came true .He was admitted to Beijing University. He intended to study abroad after he graduated . But he found he couldn't afford expensive tuition and living expenses in abroad. He needed to earn more money,so he created New Oriental. Under his leadership ,New Oriental has become one of the American listed companies.
His story makes me realize the power of hard-working. The success we longing for is based on the effort and the accumulation of bit by bit. As the saying goes, One flower makes no garland. As long as you believe in hard-working it will change your life, and your life will be more colorful.

Well done :) just remember to add a space after any . or , and not before