My TOEFL essay #2
The essay topic: Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There have a dispute that by human activity the Earth might to get worse or even be destroyed, but on the other hand the mankind's life became better after industrial revolution took the leadership and totally changed our life. In my view, one possible way, to not reduce the quality of life and in the same time not to refuse to all technologies we have, is attempt to minimize all harmful to the nature things we made as much as we can.
For a start, through generations the mankind's life met a lot changes, each time becoming better and better. For example, longevity increased significantly since the mid of 20 century, before that the human's life expectancy did not exceed 40 years for most of people. At first sight, human activity must be inevitable otherwise life again can be shorted to what used to be in not too distinct past. However, we must remember that natural resources are not endless and therefore we must think over what can replace them, or what the new technologies we must invent to prevent the harmful outcomes such as global warming, air pollution, electronics utilization and so on. One of the solutions to the problems with development of technologies could be some pressure on people to avoid using cars, disposable things such as plastic glasses, and do not change electronic devices frequently, possibly one times every 4 years, and so on. Therefore saving the quality of life without much loss, the humanity can keep it at the positive rate.
It is necessary to produce some positive aspect functions when human are struggle to improve the survive abilities and from the experiences of history we also have make great effort to resolve this kinds of problems. For instance, most of people hope to limit the quantity of nuclear weapons and the protection of environment is accept by almost every one. Most of problems are controlled by ourselves and some of them have the hope to be resolved in years. The attempt to find the balance between the development and the protection of our Earth, make the advancement of human undeniable.
To conclude, despite some problems in the process of the human development, this is without doubt that they could be solved as a whole we make the Earth a better place to live.
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Corrections · 4
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Laurence, could you be more specific? I already write with some quality and as foreigner I admite that I do commit mistakes. But , please, do not give too general adiveces here.
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How long it should be then, a few sentences? It is a requirement to write at least 350 words.
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Unfortunately, Vlad, there are rather a lot of mistakes in this with - mainly with words missing and words that need to be taken out. I would correct it, but it would take me ages. I recommend that you work on writing shorter entries until your English has reached a higher standard :)
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Please, write you corrections.
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