Walls have ears

I went shopping with my friend after dinner yesterday. Then we had a drink in a tea house. I asked for a glass of jelly and hershe asked for a glass of Shuangpi milk which reminded her of something.
She said: "Today, one of my colleague tookbrought some cakes for us. And she asked me "how was the cake?" I said, "it would be better, if it was sweeter." Then, she said to the other colleague, "she said that it was too sweet." Oh, I was very speechless at that time. "
"Hahaha, she was so funny." I laughed.
"whose tea is too sweet? ＂I had hardly finished when we/I heard a loud noise became. It was the boss of this tea house. He peeked his head out of the high desk, and his eyes were watching us.
"No,no, we are not talking about your tea. We are talking other things." my friend explained immediately.
" Well, please call me if you need some help." he smiled and left.
" As the old saying goes, walls have ears." I made a joke, and we laughed.
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I like your story hahaha, I am always paranoid cause I sometimes do the same thing

When you say something it should be typed like this- I said, "Hello!"

When you asked for a galss of jellu, it sounded like you were talking to a glass of jelly. 'For' clears it all up because you are asking for something. 

She is when you know who we are talking about.
Example- "Meet Sally, she is a girl." Her is a possesive pronoun so it'd be "her car" "her order" "Her name" "Her name is Sally, she is a girl" 

You can say, "she told the other colleague" or "She said to the other colleague" 

The only time you use 'these' is when you are using for an example, or for more emphasis. But if you are quoting someone use these. (This is a must after saying '"she said,"')

"it would be better, if it was sweeter" you aren't wrong by saying it the other way, but it sounds better like this. I think its because we like to begin on a positive note when critiquing, otherwise it sounds a little mean.

Something has to become something. The dog become fat. Became can't come at the end of the sentence unless "and so it became". So the best option is using we/I heard a loud noise.

Playing a joke is when you do something to someone as a joke.
"I Made(you made it yourself)/told(you knew it already) a joke", is when you said something that is a joke (or funny)


Good work I hope all of this helps feel free to ask in comments!