XYZ = 建议
XYZ = 可能改善一下

i translate it into English, plz correct it for me.

刚刚搬入新居不久的一天，我坐在宽大的落地玻璃窗，阳光像瀑布一样成泼洒进来一切看上去是那么温暖宁静。心情，也沐浴在一片暖融融的气氛中。
One day, not long after I moved into the new house, I sat before a wide French window in the house. Sunshine poured and splashed into the room like a waterfall, making everything looked so warm and peaceful. and my heart was filled with warmth as well. My mood also bathed in the cosy atmosphere.
②突然，一阵杂乱的敲门声打破了这份宁静和惬意。我嘀咕着：不是有门铃吗？从猫眼往外看去，只见一个陌生人，头发蓬乱，眼睛里露出一片焦灼和茫然。他是谁？想干什么？我警惕地将门打开一条缝隙问道：“你找谁？”那人脸一下子涨得通红。他从口袋里抖抖颤颤地摸出一包皱巴巴的香烟，抽出一支递过来，脸上堆满了笑意，嗫嚅道：“我是住在您这片小区里干活的民工，想请您帮个忙，不知您能不能同意？”
All of a sudden, the peace and coziness was broken by random knocks at the door. [Suddenly, a burst of harsh raps at the door broke through the peace and quiet] “Isn’t there a door bell?” I murmured. Looking out through the peephole, I saw a strange man with unkempt hair who looked anxious and puzzled. [,in his eyes, a look of worry and loss] Who is he [who is this]? What does he want to do? I watchfully (vigilantly) opened the door a crack and asked, “what is up？”[who are you looking for?] His face turned bright red suddenly [his face suddenly blushed bright red]. A winkled packet of cigarettes was drawn out from his pocket. [with trembling hands, he pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of his pocket] He pulled out one for me with a face of smile. [,his face filling up with a smile] he stammered “I am a farmer (migrant) worker working in this your community. I need some help. I wonder whether (if) you can help me.” 

i I translated it into English, plz correct it for me.

刚刚搬入新居不久的一天，我坐在宽大的落地玻璃窗，阳光像瀑布一样成泼洒进来一切看上去是那么温暖宁静。心情，也沐浴在一片暖融融的气氛中。
One day not long after I moved into the new house, I sat before a wide French window in the house. Sunshine poured into the room like a waterfall. Everything looked so warm and peaceful, and my heart was filled with warmth as well.
②突然，一阵杂乱的敲门声打破了这份宁静和惬意。我嘀咕着：不是有门铃吗？从猫眼往外看去，只见一个陌生人，头发蓬乱，眼睛里露出一片焦灼和茫然。他是谁？想干什么？我警惕地将门打开一条缝隙问道：“你找谁？”那人脸一下子涨得通红。他从口袋里抖抖颤颤地摸出一包皱巴巴的香烟，抽出一支递过来，脸上堆满了笑意，嗫嚅道：“我是住在您这片小区里干活的民工，想请您帮个忙，不知您能不能同意？”
All of a sudden, the peace and coziness was broken by random knocks at the door. “Isn’t there a door bell?” I murmured. Looking out through the peephole, I saw a strange man with unkempt hair who looked anxious and puzzled. Who is he? What does he want to do? I watchfully cautiously opened the door a crack and asked, “what is what's up？”His face turned bright red suddenly. A winkled packet of cigarettes was drawn out from his pocket. He pulled out one for me with a face of smile. “I am a farmer worker working in this community. I need some help. I wonder whether you can help me.”

你的英文非常好！只有一些细微的错误。加油！