Two short stories (Fiction, only practice)
Simon opened the door and knew immediately he had made a mistake. This wasn’t the kind of job he hoped. Since he finished studies a year ago he had been looking for a job without success. The small village where he lived offered few opportunities. For this reason he moved to the city and took some courses at university again.
He was feeding up with his student life when, suddenly one of the thousand offers he had applied for phoned him. ‘May I talk to Mr. Philips? I am talking because of your apply for a job in Chemical Brothers Company. Are you still available for the job?’ He couldn’t believe he was hearing. He asked for an interview but his interlocutor said it needn’t do it and made and appointment for his first day at the company for the next day.
That day he was very nervous. He started work at 9 a.m. but he woke up at 6 a.m. He walked out his home with his best clothes and well combed and arrived to the factory at 8.30 a.m. He was still a little worried about the no-interview thing, but he thought ‘Don’t be worried, it’s nothing’.
Eventually when the attendant said him where he was going to work he realize it was been all a mistake. He wanted him to work as a factory operator. She told him she knew he had a degree but the offer was about this job and she thought he really needed to work.
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It was the five o’clock in the morning when there was a knock at the door. I jumped off the bed and opened the door. It was my sister. She was crying and crying and she didn’t tell me what was happening.
We walked into the kitchen and I offered her a cup of tea. When she drunk it, finally she started telling me the story. She had been arguing with his boyfriend all night because he had been cheating on her with her best friend. `It couldn’t be possible! I shouted.
I couldn’t believe I was hearing. His boyfriend always had seemed warm and a good person. I remember the summer that my grandmother died. He had been so thoughtful with all my family… But some people are not really like we want to see them.
At sunset my sister was more relaxed and I suggest her to sleep and my bed. Next day I had to collect all their things to his boyfriend house. Now she has another boyfriend and she’s happier than then.
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Corrections · 3
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It was the five o’clock in the morning when there was a knock at the door. I jumped out of bed and opened the door. It was my sister. She was crying and crying and she hadn't told me what was happening.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Her boyfriend had always seemed warm and to be a good person. I remembered the summer that my grandmother had died. He had been so thoughtful with all my family, but some people are not really like they seem.
At sunset, my sister was more relaxed and I suggested she sleep in my bed. The next day, I had to collect all her things from her boyfriend's house. Now, she has a different boyfriend and she’s happier than then.
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Watch our for tenses changing. And for the gender of pronouns. I just changed a few things to be more natural.
Great stories!
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I wanted to correct your stories because my little boy's name is Simon. :-)
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Two short stories (Fiction, only practice)
Simon opened the door and knew immediately he had made a mistake. This wasn’t the kind of job he had hoped for. Since he finished studies/school a year ago, he had been looking for a job without success. The small village where he lived offered few opportunities. For this reason, he moved to the city and took some courses at the university again.He was fed up with his student life when, suddenly, one of the thousand opportunities he had applied for phoned him. "May I talk to Mr. Philips? I am calling because of you applied for a job at Chemical Brothers Company. Are you still available for the job?" He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He asked for an interview but the company's representative said he needn’t do it and made and appointment for his first day at the job for the next day.
That day he was very nervous. He started work at 9 a.m. but he woke up extra early at 6 a.m. He walked out of his home with his best clothes on and well groomed. He arrived at the factory at 8.30 a.m. He was still a little worried about the no-interview thing, but he thought, ‘don’t be worried, it’s nothing.'
Eventually, when the attendant/supervisor told him where he was going to work, he realized it had all been a mistake. The supervisor wanted him to work as a factory operator. She told him she knew he had a degree but the offer was about this job and she thought he really needed to work.
I suggested just two word changes. American English is my native language, so we usually put "the" before "univeristy." We always put punctuation inside of quotation marks. However, internal thoughts are not placed in quotation marks at all. Many times, internal thoughts are put in italics. See this article: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/formatting-internal-dialogue-quotation-marks-or-italics
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Thank you so much, i had problem at writing a story.
i well try to learning seem what you did.
i had two story must writing this week, if you do not mind pleases help me.
the stories must begin with the following words:
1- it was very exciting but i wouldn't like to do it again.
2- i knew i had to leave that city as soon as i possibly could.
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