A definite vision

I was pacing awkwardly down the street on my way home. The sun went down from "descended from" is more poetic his blessed sky until vanishing to emptiness. The sea was roaring beside do you mean "inside"? my poor ears, whilst the singing birds flew around in search of a definite setting down place to rest on that frosty nightfall. My head, which was plenty full of vain thoughts, moved from one side to another, as spending time looking for any specific detail which could lead me into thinking something beautiful. Nevertheless, it kept in a certain position and made my whole body stand like an iron pole. It was an odd image, a spirit from an uncertain planet becoming entirely in a woman. She, if that pronoun were appropriate enough for such a goddess, was walking in fine elegance like a golden statue getting becoming more and more alive. Her lank, black hair cascaded all over her back like holy water falling from heaven. It reminded me of an unheard-of kind of exotic silk I´ve never come across again. Her mouth was brighter than twilight. It was the result of various tears of ruby coalescing into a single bright entity. Her statuesque body 1.90 meters tall surrounded her soul as if attempting to protect it from any alien investor invader. Her cerulean eyes seemed not to blink. By contrast, her stare was pointing out at the horizon right before her. Her soft, milky complexion received the low light from the day that was getting off retreating. Lastly Finally, her figure disappeared in the distance until reviving again in one of my most daredevil dreams on in a peaceful slumber.

A definite vision A Definite Vision (Remember to capitalize titles)

I was pacing awkwardly down the street on my way home. The sun went down from his blessed sky until vanishing he vanished to emptiness (This personifies the sun, which is unusual but poetic). The sea was roaring beside in my poor ears, whilst the singing birds flew around in search of a definite setting place to settle down on that frosty nightfall. My head, which was plenty full of vain thoughts, moved from one side to another as though spending time looking for a ny specific detail which could lead me into thinking of something beautiful. Nevertheless, it kept in a certain position and made my whole body stand like an iron pole (This sentence contradicts the previous sentence... I'm confused). It was an odd image, a spirit from an uncertain planet becoming entirely in a woman. She, if that pronoun were is appropriate enough for such a goddess, was walking in fine elegance like a golden statue getting more and more alive. Her lank (lank has negative connotations), black hair cascaded all over down her back like holy water falling from heaven. It reminded me of an unheard-of strange kind of exotic silk I´ve never come across again. Her mouth was brighter than twilight. She, or it, was the result of various tears of ruby coalescing into a single bright entity. Her statuesque body 1.90 (I'd suggest not using exact measurements) meters tall surrounded her soul as (if/though)  attempting to protect it from an alien investor (Word choice: remember, an investor is almost always a financial term for someone who gives money to a business in hopes of making more money in the future) . Her cerulean eyes seemed not to blink. By contrast , her stare was pointing out the horizon right before her (Contrast to what?). Her soft milky complexion received the low light from the dying day that was getting off (Look up "getting off" on UrbanDictionary.com) Lastly, her figure disappeared into the distance until reviving again in one of my most daredevil ("most daredevil" sounds odd...) dreams on during an otherwise peaceful slumber.

Nice work! Some good writing. Try to take a closer look at prepositions, but you did a great job using a wide vocabulary. This reminds me of The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, a little.