Part of me

I've always been trying to find out who I was and who I really want to become, but I eventually found through my failures.
Honestly, I never used to devote myself to one goal, and I didn't even know the exact definition of "persistence". I was many of things: from sales, merchandiser, office clerk and purchaser but I did none of them well. One other thing by which has haunted me for too many years is love.
As a gay man, especially under our social realities,it's very hard to have the expectation of a trustworthy, intimate and consistent relationship.
I have had a few crushes on some guys. However one still affects me, I was too young and inexperienced to keep it alive. I am now old enough to tackle the emotions between us. Unfortunately, you'll never come back to me, and the past has passed. It was my fault. 
It's pessimistic to end this with such regret and complaint. It's not constructive. I have to stop thinking like that. I'm alive to start a new chapter of my life.
I would take someone new as my partner and share the rest of my life with him. I look forward to building something together to enrich both our lives.

Comments:

Excellent piece. Your grammar and spelling were mostly correct. I just adjusted the expressions to what I thought would sound more natural.