(P.S.) In terms of whether it works that "if one believes himself/herself beautiful, people around will finally accept his/her judgment". It does work but not always. It can work better in a equal and open-minded society while it might bring about a different result in others, e.g. you might be viewed as a "self-awareness is isolated from the society", or "not practical", or "not self-knowledged" (wu zi zhi zhi ming de, which is very negative criticism). How you look at yourself is always different from how others look at you, and they influence eath other mutually rather than one-orientedly.

To let others to accept your ways needs two steps in some cases:

first, surrender to others' way and then get power through using it;

second, after getting power, let others accept your ways through using the power.

In the end, I cannot see a person can absolutely avoid the social influence about “beauty”. I wouldn't take a nation of immigrants as an example. From what I have known, it is hard to keep purely independent. Some people who are viewed as "ugly" pretend that this standard doesn't exist on one hand, on the other hand they are still secretly happy if someone else gives them compliments about their physical looks. They like to pretend that they are very confident, in the end, the confidence is kind of fake. Besides, if defying beauty as moral/ attitude things, even physical part will be taken as a merit. I saw some actresses are so proud of themselves, and hence they are stupidly competitive. 

This standard also affects to those who are viewed "good looking". Since you can't change the whole society, you can't stop hearing the compliments, a more practical way to counter it is not avoid it, but give your own definition by utilising the same language. In this way, you are teasing the standard rather than taking it seriously. When you accept your physcial ugliness/beauty without any other attached values (if you know clearly that it is just a social thing), then "ugliness" and "beauty" would have the equal position. You wouldn't be influenced by any critism or compliment from outside at all. Since every person can have his own standard, you won't be affected by others easily no matter how others think about him or how he thinks about himself. 

(Part 2)Thirdly, it is because the emerging of concept of equality and freedom. People tend to repsect to an individual himself‘s morality rather than criticise him/her according to a social mainstream( if any). The values of beauty is multipled. Here is a reason that the social pressure about beauty is bigger than some other countries, at least from all the movies, stories I have watched or read and heard. Obviously, Chinese culture is still a highly-centralised and collectivistic one.

There are many negative influence in this physical-based value, because you would be set obviously. In ancient China, there were some other ways to reconcile it. One was wisdome, another was morality(kindness, loyalty, etc.) Alghough it offered people a varied way to change the judgement put on him/her, yet this value still worked. Obviously, those who were viewed as "wise/skillful and beautiful/handsome" would be better than those who were just viewed "wise/skillful". These varied channels have been changed nowadays. Firstly, a major moral system has collapsed and China is confronted with a value crisis. Secondly, as the populism is replacing elitism, wisdom is not as highly valued as before. Thirdly, there is a different reason from the situation in the West, that is, the return of “physical beauty” is a sign of individual freedom, which is contrast to the West. In Mao-era, physical beautiful value was extremely repressed. Women were forced to wear the same uniform in grey-green. Any attempt to dress up or make up would be viewed as “reactionary”, and the risk was varied in different places and years, which included death. Even in the 80s and the early 90s, the behavior which was to copy fashional style from the West was viewed as moral corruption by some people. When you criticse the social mind now, you have to consider the history and regional reasons.

How to tackle the problems of the unnecessary pressure produced by this aesthetic value? One method is to completely deny the possibility that beauty can be based on physical appearances. Does it work? Of course it works! Which is just what I have listed as the third reason in the forth paragraph. Can it solve the problems absolutely? I don't think so. Primarily, all the reasons I have listed above which are why this physical-based-aesthetic value was brought about still exist now, and even very apparently in some societies, the expense to fight against to the whole society would be too big (effort, time, pressure, etc.) (I will elaborate this issue in another correction box.) Next, since the difference of appearances does exist, and all the Heterogeneity will affect an individual’s self-identification, it is hard to eradicate the physical factor about the self-judgement about “beauty”. No matter how confidently people believe that “everyone is beautiful according to his/her own way”, undeniably, there are always some peole share a similar "personal value". Hence the competition can not be avoided though it is not all the cases. To get power and money, people will try to gain more similar "personal values" and after this trend becomes stronger, people can use them to sway more. That is how fashion works. On the contrary, that Chinese people don't care about the swifted changes of fashion in the international world has many reasons, one is that they have more stable "physical beautiful" standard, from which point you can see its double-edged sword function. Additionally, this theory cannot work in explaining some phenomenons. Like, if two women both don't have special talents and are both confident, why the good-looking one can generally impress people better than the bad-looking one in a short time? Like it or not, it just happens. You can't say the society is wrong to stuck in the stupid illusion while you are right, because it is actually the same to say the society is right while you are wrong. Lastly, it is not convenient in colloquial context. e.g. -"Is she beautiful?" -"Well, I think attitudes matter, because blablablabla." You might think you are accuratise your definitions, while Chinese listeners might think you are too pedantic. The reasons I have alreayd listed in the second paragraph, which means, when people discuss this issue, they are not that serious. They are just asking your personal opinion rather than trying to get a truth.

Another way to solve this problem is that to still use “physical beautiful/ugly value” this label, while change the content. I would admit that beauty depends on physical body and attitude, while the former component has qualification. Firstly, it is an individual standard rather than a collective one. Hence the beautiful beauty is quite subjective varied with different individuals’ background and growing-up circumstance. Seconldy, it is a conditional, depends on what your mood is and where you are. Thirdly, it is changing. With the process of you are familiar with him/her, the value will be changed. Hence, when I say "someone is beautiful", this is obviously personal and conditional. I can't see there is any necessity to avoid using the word "beautiful" and I can't see there is any hard points in my opinion can not be understood. I am not sure if some English-speakers over valued the power of "language" where is the logos doctrine, at least for me, words mean nothing, as anyone can only speak on behalf of himself and no final truth is supposed be made in a casual conversation.