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Foe English Learners Of Russian Всем - доброго времени суток! Hello everyone! I would really appreciate if you could help me with the translation of this beautiful Russian song. Была бы очень признательна за помощь в переводе одной очень красивой песни: Разлука смотрит на меня Твоими серыми глазами. Вспорхнула птица между нами... Вскочило сердце на коня, И мчится поперек огня, Не уступая своеволью, Переполняясь новой болью... За болью - даль, за далью - дым... А ты глядишь, не отрываясь, Как снег летит, переливаясь На уходящие следы Неразразившейся беды... И, если даже мир качнется - Твоя любовь не обернется. (Автор - Елена Фролова) Песню можно прослушать здесь - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPlgYQYWcKc Мой первый черновой вариант: Your grey eyes are ful of parting A bird's taken wing between me and you My heart's galloping through the fire Losing its head Filled up with pain. Behind the pain, there's a distance Behind the distance, there's mist You're gazing fixedly at Snow flicker and cover (the footsteps of) woes walking away. And even if the world swung its balance Your Love would never look back... Thanks a lot in advance! Заранее спасибо!

Corrections · 2

1

Here are my suggested changes to your own excellent translation:

 

Your grey eyes are full of parting,
A bird has taken wing between you and me.
My heart is galloping through fire,
Not giving way to self-will,
Filling up with pain.

 

Behind the pain, there is distance,
Behind the distance, there is mist,
You gaze fixedly at the flittering snow,
Which covers the footsteps of departing woes.
And even if the world swings its balance,
Your Love would never look back.

 

Next, I offer you this alternative translation of the first stanza, which is still faithful to yours:

 

Your grey eyes are full of parting.
A bird has taken wing between you and me.
My heart has leaped upon a steed,
Galloping through fire,
Not giving way to self-will,
And filling up with fresh pain.

 

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