a composition from IELTS

Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the world's fuel resources (or you could say "supplies", both are good). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Here is my writing:
Some people propose that air travel should be restricted. Indeed it is detrimental to the environment and exhausts the world's fuel resources. However in my opinion, air travel should not be totally restricted for the following reasons.
As far as we know that air travel is one of the most convenient means of transports, which save people large amounts of time during the trip. If air travel is restricted, this will cause a great number of troubles among the people who live in the modern society and need to convey from one place to another in a short period of time. In addition, more serious social problems will arise such as unemployment because air companies employ large numbers of workers.
We must admit that air travel has the detrimental effect of pollution on the environment. However the harm that air travel brings to the enviroment is exaggerated. What's more it is not the only cause of pollution, there are also other enormous causations (this is technically a correct statement, but not usual. Better to say "there are other large contributors",) such as trucks, cars, ships and so on, which at the same time have a great impact on suroundings. Fortunately people are working on the project for less pollution and cleaner fuels.
Those who strongly approve of the restriction lay too much emphasis on using up the world's fuel resources. Air travel may consume some fuel resources, but it's not the main consumption of the world's fuel resources. Moreover scientists are trying to find a better cleaner resources instead of the present fuel.
To sum up, I do not suggest that air travel should be restricted. Air company makes much contribution to the convenience of travel. To some terms, the complete restriction of air travel will give rise to many social problems.