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Effect of increasing fines on decreasing the number of road accidents! (please tell me my mistakes ) One of the heartbreaking reports that I often read in daily papers is about the high rate of dead and injured car passengers in Iran .It is believed that imposing heavy fines to the law-breaker drivers by the traffic police can reduce the number of road accidents. I absolutely believe that this procedure forces the majority of drivers to obey the driving rules. Furthermore, it prevents the financial losses due to the car accidents. ( I have a few ideas about this topic.Would you please help me to develop my text ? )

Corrections · 5

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Yes, I could guess it's either a TOEFL or IELTS essay. That's the reason I said "if it is showing your personal view". Best of luck!
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Thank you Amene. Definitely the situation of roads and the experience of drivers are important factors (more than heavy fines); however, I wrote my essay about Iran :-D Here they don't take care of infrastructures and they usually choose the simplest way; therefore, heavy fine would be an influential factor in Iran. Thank you a lot for your consideration (by the way, I wrote this essay for my IELTS class and our teacher asked us to discuss about the impact of heavy fines on reducing the accident rates in Iran!)
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Hello Mehran. I am afraid to say that I do not agree with you if the entry is showing your personal view. I believe that there are several reasons for the high rate of car accidents especially in Iran. I think increasing the fine is not helpful at all. I have recently come back from Dubai. I saw that they have wide one way streets. I also do not remember seeing any square there. And people respect the driving laws very well. As you might already know these are very important factors. I was thinking about the possibility of car accidents there. It sounds that they have controlled the situation very well. In a nutshell, I believe mere an incompetent father beats his children because of their mistakes. He could have found a lot of better solutions rather than punishing the children for what he is guilty for!
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Effect of increasing fines on decreasing the number of road accidents! (please tell me my mistakes )

One of the heartbreaking reports that I often read about in daily papers is the high rate of dead and injured car acccident victims in Iran. It is believed that imposing heavy fines to the law-breaking drivers by the traffic police can reduce the number of road accidents. I absolutely believe that this practice forces the majority of drivers to obey the driving rules. Furthermore, it prevents the financial losses due to the car accidents.

( I have a few ideas about this topic.Would you please help me to develop my text ? )

 

-'Passengers' wasn't so much wrong as it implied that only passengers, not dirvers, were killed in crashes.

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Effect of increasing fines on decreasing the number of road accidents! (please tell me my mistakes )

One of the heartbreaking reports that I often read in daily papers is about the high rate of dead and injured car passengers in Iran. It is believed that imposing heavy fines on law-breaking drivers by traffic police can reduce the number of accidents. I absolutely believe that this procedure forces the majority of drivers to obey the driving rules. Furthermore, it prevents financial losses caused by car accidents.

( I have a few ideas about this topic. Would you please help me to develop my text ? )

 

 

Mehran, please continue, you are doing very well!

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