The hurricane warning! 2

A strong wind was filled with an intense sound on this empty beach, that was an evidence of that a hurricane would arrive soon, but I couldn't help going to sea for a swim. I immediately organised a few friends, then went to the beach. At that time we simply could only see that the waves were gradually getting higher, which made us feel excited. I suggested to my friends to go swimming in the sea and we encouraged one another to overcame the fear however, but there was an obstacle. Several ocean safety guards walked the beat on the beach so that and turned away several people and only a few remained there. Fortunately, the beach was vast an extensive, therefore the guards were watching only some parts of the beach. We were able to avoid them easily and approached the water then we and dove in successfully. When waves rolled in, we penetrated deep into and against them into the sea against waves, and we stayed there just a few seconds under water. While I was beneath the waves, I felt as if I was on another planet, because there was so peaceful and clam even the sea roared above me...

The hurricane warning! 2

A strong wind was filled with an intense sound on this empty beach, that was an evidence of that a hurricane would arrive soon, but I couldn't help going to sea for a swim. I immediately organised a few friends, then went to the beach. At that time we simply could only see that the waves were gradually getting higher, which made us feel excited. I suggested to my friends to go swimming in the sea and we encouraged one another to overcame the fear however, but there was an obstacle. Several ocean safety guards walked the beat on the beach so that and turned away several people and only a few remained there. Fortunately, the beach was vast an extensive, therefore the guards were watching only some parts of the beach. We were able to avoid them easily and approached the water then we and dove in successfully. When waves rolled in, we penetrated deep into and against them into the sea against waves, and we stayed there just a few seconds under water. While I was beneath the waves, I felt as if I was on another planet, because there was so peaceful and clam even the sea roared above me...

The hurricane warning! 2

A strong wind was filled with an intense sound to this empty beach The roar of the wind filled the air, and the beach had emptird as evidence that, that was an evidence of a hurricane would arrive soon but, ,but (1) I couldn't help resist going to the seaside for a swim swimming. I organised a few friends immediately then we all went to the beach. At that time we simply could easily see the waves had been rising gradually higher gradually, which and that made us feel excited. I suggested urged my friends swimming in the sea to swim in the surf and we encouraged one another to overcame the overcome our fear, but there was an obstacle, - (2)several ocean safety guards walked the beat on patrolled the beach ... etc the rest as remarked already

1.comma before the conjunction 'but', not afterwards

2. sometimes need to separate clauses more strongly than with just a comma - here a semi-colon or a dash because the next clause explains what the obstacle is, is doesnt add to the sentence like a list of things.

Silly/Foolhardy girl for swimming in high seas, avoiding the guards and encouraging the others to follow you!  How well do you swim, and high well in a rising surf?