My Oral English Contest manuscript( Would you take a minute to help me? A million thanks~~)

My Oral English Contest manuscript( Would you take a minute to help me? A million thanks~~)

Can you help me to make my manuscript better and any comments or critics are is weclomed!O(∩_∩)O cheng,in Chinese “诚”,means 诚实，honesty.

Good morning, ladies and gentleman!

My name is Jiangcheng. Cheng is my given name, for my parents they do have an expectation for me to become an honest woman. Well, to be honest with you, I am a little bit nervous. I have been alive and kicking for 27 years. I stand 180 centimeters tall, but I don't want to talk about my weight, as my waistline has shown a tendancy towards expansion. But Actually I've tried a lot of ways to lose my weight, but it seems that the only thing I've ever lost is my money. I am employed at the Shanghai Cigarette Factory. I work as an assistant operator on a cigarette-making machine and I've been working in the Tobacco Industry for five years.

But It wasn't until two years ago when I began an infatuation with (or, "became infatuated with") English that I learned probably the most important lesson in my life.

It was a piece on BBC News which reported from a remote village in an impoverished African nation. A little girl lived with her parents. Her father had died of AIDS and her mother was dying of full-blown AIDS. The mother said to her daughter, "It's time to go. Now I am going to teach you my last lesson which is how to bury me when I'm gone." Maybe for a little girl she's just too young to comprehend the cruelty and hopelessness of this scale, but as a grown-up, it was just like a wake-up-call for me.

I used to complain a lot: The job is laborious or the food is not delicious or my folks are nagging too much. My grumble list can go a long way, but after reflecting on that piece of news, I started to ask myself: What if someday I am deprived of all this stuff (or, "these things")? The job is laborious? How about being the unemployed among the millions of jobless university graduates? The food is not delicious? How about being the hungry among the millions of refugees suffering from severe famine who had to live on tree bark in Henan in 1942? The parents are nagging to much? How about being the bereaved among those who just lost their beloved moms and dads?

It would be too late to regret on that day. I have been taking things for granted for too long, without speculating about what if I wasn't lucky enough to have them. This is the learning and I even coined a motto for myself, which is "More gratitude, less grievance."



That's all.

Thank you all very

The word "but" usually serves to connect two clauses within a sentence, so we don't normally begin a sentence with the word. I also corrected some verb tense errors.  This is well written, good luck during your contest!

 Can somebody help me~~~~~~

My Oral English Contest manuscript( Would you take a minute to help me? A million thanks~~)

My Oral English Contest manuscript( Would you take a minute to help me? A million thanks~~)

Can you help me to make my manuscript better and any comments or critics are is weclomed!O(∩_∩)O cheng,in Chinese “诚”,means 诚实，honesty.

Good morning, ladies and gentleman!

My name is Jiangcheng, cheng is my given name, for my parents they do have expectation for me to become an honest man. Well, to be honest with you, I am a little bit nervous. I have been alive and kicking for 27 years. I stand 180 centermeters tall. But I don't want to talk about my weight, as my waistline has shown a tendancy towards expansion. But actually I've tried a lot of ways to lose my weight, but it seems that the only thing I've ever lost is my money. I am employed at Shanghai Cigarette Factory. I work as an assistant operator in cigarette-making machine and I've been working in the Tobacco Industry for 5 years.

But it wasn't until 2 years ago when I began infatuated with English that I learnt probably the most important lesson in my life.

It was a piece of BBC News which reported in a remote villiage in an impoverished African nation, a little girl lived with her parents. Her father had died of AIDS and her mother was dying of full-blown AIDS. The mother said to her daughter,'' It's time to go. Now I am gonna teach you my last lesson that is how to bury me when I'm gone". Maybe for a little girl she's just too young to comprehend the cruelty and hopelessness of this scale. But as an grown-up, it was just like a wake-call for me.

I used to complain a lot: The job is laborious or the food is not delicious or my folks are nagging too much...my grumble list can go a long way. But after reflecting on that piece of news, I start to ask myself: What if someday I am deprived of all those stuff? The job is laborious ? how about be the unemployed among the millions of jobless university graduates?; The food is not delicious? how about be the hungry among the millions of refugee suffered from severe famine who had to live on tree barks in Henan,1942? The parents are nagging to much? How about be the bereaved among those who just lost their beloved moms and dads?

It would be too late to regret on that day. I have been taking things for granted for too long, without speculating about what if I wasn't lucky enough to have them. This is the learnt and I even coined a motto for myself, that is " More gratitude,less grievance."



That's all.

Thank you all very