i am so dispirited/disheartened

These days,i had have met many foreigner friends and i felt feel/am so happy,i want to chat with them,introduce my hometown to them , teach them how to speak Chinese,and learn English from them.  However, my English is so terrible/bad that i can't speak too very fast/fast enough and i alywals always make mistakes.  i am so sad.  i really need to practice my English more.

Hi Emma, don't be disheartened I think you are doing well. We all speak slowly when learning a new language.  Think back to when you were first learning to read as a small child - you read slowly and out loud to practice. It is the same with a new language.  The difference is that we are no longer small children and feel awkward because we are reading/writing/talking in the new langiage just like we did as a small child in our native language.  Keep going, the more we practice the easier it becomes :)