Hello Naiane! You did well on this exercise... just a few things. I am going to mark them in highlight.

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Hello my friends :)

I'm Naiane, I'm 22, and I'm from Brazil.
I love the English language, and I'm giving all my strength to learn this language Ligua.
My dream is to speak English fluently.
I know it is difficult but I will not desisitir stop.
My desemplenho resolve (or commitment) is very strong and gives me strength to continue.

I like to read, study, go to parties, and go to the movies.
I like to have fun :)

I like making new friends O/

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Good job! Keep going! :)