Flipped

Because you are telling a story about the past, you must stick with past tenses.

When I was in high school, I have had a crush on my deskmate, who was a charming guy. The moment I knew he would sit by my side, my heartbeat raced faster and faster. I felt as if I could not breathe any more. Because I of lacked courage and confidence, I hid my strong feelings and pretended not to like him. I tried not to talk to him, look at him, or think anything about him or about him. To be honest, it was definitely a tough time for me. I thought I was torturing myself when I imagined about the impossible affection between us, so I denied it at once.

Tip: no prepositions for transitive verbs. You imagine something.

After some time, I could not hide my feelings any more, but I was still afraid to tell him the truth. At the same time, the pressure from my study and the demands from my parents made me want to give up the idea. I was definitely in hot water.

However, life never went on as I expected. The guy began to talk to me a lot, and always asked me questions. That situation drew me into the love-trap much deeper.

Sensibly, I realized it was not the right time to start a romantic relationship; sentimentally, I didn’t want to miss the guy. That time, the only way to rescue me from the confusion was by listening to the song, The Sky Might Fall, again and again. Finally, I figured out my thoughts, and realized what I should do. Maybe the situation could not be any worse more, everything could not go on well and the whole world was horrible. Still, I had the chance to make the right decision to put things in the right place. Maybe it was too early to express my love, and the result might be beyond my dreams, and I could not accept that. No matter what, I decided to surrender to the common sense and end the feelings.

Even to this day I still remember that guy I used to love. However, the least thing I can do is just recollecting his smiles, and forgetting the words I never told him.