learn how to return other compliments in my whole life haha...... i have already not written something here for several days on end. i like this website , for whenever i write something then there will be bound to response to my questions and give me some tips if necessary . when i am dispirited , there are many people in this website who donot even know me then encourage me , really thanks several days while i was working , my manager talked with me for a while and she told me now the company is in a slash season so the boss ask her to lay off the employer so that he reduces some cost. unfortunately meanwhile i am the only one newcomer in that company. at that day i cried alone and donot know what i should do next step .i am not afraid to find another job , it is just that i have already been there for three month and hired a house only belonging to me here before i was naive , i thought i can speak english and all the other employees cannot , so may be that is my advantage to stay here , but i was totally wrong . it is funny right ? may be at the same time there give me another chance to find a job i like , which i never dare to do that. to find a office job is not a difficult thing for me , but to find a job i like and i can enjoy is not a easy feat. sometimes to give up what you have need many courage ,isnot it? from the childhood i have no father and my mother doesnot show her love to me which i need more than others, but i canot get it not like my friends can get it without any effort ,sometimes i cry alone , all the thing i need are really very simple not money not high social ranks , i just need their attention and love . i want to the college but i canot . on the contrary i need to make all my efforts to get all the things i want in my life . sometimes i think god is really unfair . all this years i tried very hard and struggled to get what i need . really exhuasted sometimes i lay in bed and think all i struggle for what and live for what , sometimes really get confused ........ now haha.....i have a american brother and canadan father , they treats me very well . which i never get it before , they use their life knowledge to teach in my life . when i am in tight corner , they tell me you just need to take time no hurry and be more confident in yourself then you will live through.all i can do is to thank for them is to study and work very hard , for i want to hear more of that i am so proud of you..... now try to live a bird . working and studying without worries........