Introducing myself

My name is Sherry. I'm 18 years old. I will soon start my first college life in/ (at) SISU.
I like to study English and English is more and more important in my social life .
The My poor English often makes gets me into trouble and I feel embarrased galling....
I'm going to Europe to enjoy my holiday with my friends next summer, so I have to improve
my speaking English speaking before my next summer holiday is coming....  comes
I NEED YOUR HELP.....THANKS

Introducing myself

My name is Sherry._I'm (in formal writing: I am) 18 years old ._I will (or: shall) start my first college life in (the) SISU (What is SISU?).

I like to study English, and because English is becomes more and more (or simply with: very) important in social life . However, The my poor English often makes me into trouble and feel galling embarrassed (N.B. Any present participle is not appropriate in the content, because the original content is that you are acted by your poor English, not the other way around.) ....

I'm going to Europe to enjoy my holiday with my friends next summer, so I have to improve my speaking spoken (or: oral / conversational ) English before next summer holiday is coming comes ...

I NEED YOUR HELP....._THANKS. 

---
N.B.
1)  A space is needed after each punctuation, before starting a new sentence or phrase.
2)  Try to avoid contractions (such as I'm), especially in formal writing, such as writing a technical report, etc. 
3)  Try to avoid abbreviations (except for very well known ones, such as USA [United States of America], UK [United Kingdom]), especially when you first introduce the term.  Usual practice is, that you write the full name for the first time in the essay, and then you write down the abbreviation in a bracket, and then you may use the quoted abbreviation in the rest of the passage.

In general, the essay was well written, at least in the sense that it is understandable.  Thus, please keep up the good work. / 敬請繼續努力。

---
Good weekend. / 祝　週末愉快。