Thanks Gorge! so the only big mistake is "Uncomforming longing to be free." ? Why is it "Uncomforted longing to be free." instead ? I don't undesrstand. I just wanted to say that the feeling of longing to be free is uncomofting. Whatever that means XD! So why is it wrong? Or it just sounds funny?

This is a song I'm putting together for my band. It's too emo, we can't fix that, I'll make a happy one next time. Is it proper English? Thanks! (Estrofa1) Looking back to the path I've walked, remembering all the things I sought. (Preestrib 1) I'm reaching out for the veil that conceals my past, this is the day I'm facing the facts. (Estrib1) While fleeting dreams subside our tears become painful motes of rust. (Estrofa2) Motionless on some clean white sheets. Uncomforted longing to be free. (Preestrib2) I'm reaching out for the veil that conceals my past, this is the day I'm facing the facts. (Estrib2) A fleeting life subsides into the deep. Thoughts I can't abide are carving motes of sorrow in my eyes. (Puente) In my eyes, hollow pictures of my past, my regrets. My life, my mistakes, are coming back! (Estrib3) My fleeting dreams subside, my tears become painful motes of rust, all piercing needles burning in my sight. This fleeting life is far beyond the healing point, so let it all subside! (Outro) I see the pain inside, it is far too much to hide. I've wasted all these years dreaming of paradise. And now, all my lies, they are coming back! _____________________its tough to correct songs because sometimes creativity needs grammatically incorrect. XD