Check for mixtakes please
It's a part of my poem, I want know if have sense ^.^
"I'm so tired, waiting for take my rest,
looking forward to clear my mind soon, for a while,
look this smile between my heart and your heart,
between my soul and your face was born a smile, hey?
Look my way to looking your way how you are with me,
Don't ever break my heart like its a file,
care about me, as you want, as you see
I want, every morning, see your smile.
If I could, at least once touch your skin,
then I would be in my own sky
If I knew when I am in your mind
I would be drunk on you as I may"
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Corrections · 3
0
Your poem is nice. But in the writing poem, we must still use the grammar. It will be more interesting to read and more pleasing to the ears:-)
0
It's a part of my poem, I want to know if it makes sense ^.^
"I'm so tired, waiting to take my rest,
looking forward to clear my mind soon, for a while,
look at this smile between my heart and your heart,
between my soul and your face was born a smile, hey?
Look my way and i'll look your way how you are with me,
Don't ever break my heart like its a file,
care about me, as you want, as you see
I want, every morning, to see your smile.
If I could, at least once touch your skin,
then I would be in my own sky
If I knew when I am in your mind
I would be drunk on you as I may"
0
nice poem :)))
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