Ielts task 2 , please read it if you are able to. The topic is - Nowadays many countries have advanced

It is well known that in the decade we are living in many countries all over the world possess widely developed technology, but instead of besides this, there are also great painters and writers, who represent the culture of these countries. Some people believe that science and technology are not enough to illustrate everything in life. I fully agree with this thesis. (hypothesis / thinking)
On In my opinion science and technology are extremely important for (to) the humanity. With the progress of the science we are making bigger and bigger steps into a better and brighter future. Days in which perhaps a cure for the cancer would (could) be found or there would not left be any no diseases left / remaining, torturing human beings. Also the need of for technology is increasing rapidly. Furthermore, nowadays almost everyone are is addicted to some electrical device, for instance - the cell phone and the computer play enormous roles in our lives. We need them to keep in touch with those our close to us. ones, whereever they are. The easiest thing, for example, is to be able to talk with someone no matter if (whether) you are in Africa and he is in Italy. for example.
But on the other hand, despite of (or inspite of) the advantages of the science and technology being so precious for (to) people, they are not capable of fulfilling the needs of mankind.
Therefore there is another thing, which fulfils this as known as art. By using art it is posible to be understand many aspects, but without a doubt the most important two are -painting and writing. The reason of for this is because they represent our inner desires and feelings in a unique way. Even the newest technoloy cannot be compared with a beautiful poem in which you can easily find yourself and the way how that you feel in an exact (precise) moment of your life. The greatest feeling is when you become like one with the poem or the novel that you are reading. Nevertheless writing it is not the only part of art which shows things from life that nothing else can show. Drawing is one of the most valuable skills that a man can have. Many important events have become immortal because of the painter's hands. It is an unbelievable experience to be in front of a portrait of some great historical person or to look at a gorgeous nature landscape and to start feeling free and relaxed like a bird.
In conclusion I would like to say that technology and science are not the only things which can represent life with all of its indescribable wonders. And that is the reason why art, and in particular writing and painting, would never dissapear from our lives, because we need them for finding who we are.

You must put a space after every full stop. I have not tried to alter the way that you have expressed your thoughts. These are just basic corrections.