Screens and young people
Nowadays most of young people think that there is not a better way to enjoy themselves than to be in front of a screen.
In fact, young people prefer to be playing the play station or their computers instead of for example going for a walk. And this could be because the games have such a good graphics and interesting stories and they prefer to stay at home playing.
However they must be aware that are different ways of entertainment, like for example books. And they have more advantages since while you are reading a book you have to focus and imagine and doing it you will improve your memory and creativity.
Therefore, young people have to try and look for something else, like for example taking up a new hobby or sport, or more simple, hang around with their friends.
To sum up, life is too beautiful to waste all your free time alone in your house with your devices. Young people have to explore and know more than fictional worlds.
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Corrections · 9
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Screens and young people
Nowadays most of young people think that there is not a better way to enjoy themselves than to be in front of a screen.
In fact, young people prefer to be playing their play station or their computers instead of for example, going for a walk. And tThis could be because the games have such a good graphics and interesting stories and they prefer to stay at home playing.
However they must be aware that there are different ways to entertain yourself like for example, reading books. of entertainment, like for example books. and they have more advantages since while you are eading a book It requires you have to focus and imagine, and doing it you will so helps improve your memory and creativity.
Therefore, young people have to try and look for something else, like for example taking take up a new hobby or sport, or more simple, hang around with their friends.
To sum up, life is too beautiful to waste all your free time alone in your house with your devices. Young people have to explore and know more than fictional worlds.
(I agree with you, we need to do better. I hope this helps Laura!)
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Screens and young people
Nowadays most of young people think that there is not a no better way to enjoy themselves than to be in front of a screen.
In fact, young people prefer to be playing the Playstation or their computers instead of, for example, going for a walk. And this could be because the games have such a good graphics and interesting stories and they prefer to stay at home playing.
However they must be aware
(Instead of "must be aware" you could say "need to realise". When I read must be aware it sounds more severe, like "surely you must be aware that fire is hot" almost as if you can't believe they don't know it already. Need to realise suggests that it would be better for them if they came to the conclusion that there was more to life than computers.)
that there are different ways types of entertainment like, for example, books. And They have more advantages since while you are reading a book you have to focus and imagine and, in doing so, it you will improve your memory and creativity.
This might read better as "There are many advantages to reading. You have to focus and use your imagination, which improves your memory and creativity". There's nothing wrong with what you wrote really, this just flows better and you've given me too few things to correct!
Therefore, young people have to try and look for something else, like for example taking up a new hobby or sport, or more simple simply hang out around with their friends.
To sum up, life is too beautiful to waste all your free time alone in your house with your devices. Young people have to explore and know experience more than just fictional worlds.
Again, there's nothing wrong with what your wrote, this just flows better.
Very well written, almost faultless. Most of the corrections are actually recommendations to make the language flow a bit better. I've only included them because the rest of the writing reads so well that they stood out a bit.
In English we almost never start a sentence with "and". It's best to avoid doing it.
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Screens and young people
Nowadays most of young people think that there is not a better way to enjoy themselves than to be in front of a screen.
In fact, young people prefer to be playing the play station or their computers instead of for example going for a walk. And this could be because the games have such a good graphics and interesting stories and they prefer to stay at home playing.
However they must be aware that there are different ways of entertainment, like for example books. And they have more advantages since while you are reading a book you have to focus and imagine and doing it you will improve your memory and creativity.
Therefore, young people have to try and look for something else, like for example taking up a new hobby or sport, or more simply, hang around with their friends.
To sum up, life is too beautiful to waste all your free time alone in your house with your devices. Young people have to explore and know more than fictional worlds.
¡Buen trabajo!
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I doubt it. With the technology inventions, everything has moved to the screens. Audio books too are here.
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Do you think children will continue to read books in the future?
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