Could you help me correct my mistake？thanks！ There is a rabbit, and she is a university professor. I always have to wear a uniform to school, but where she works anything goes. She teaches formulas to

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Phoebe

Could you help me correct my mistake？thanks！ There is a rabbit, and she is a university professor. I always have to wear a uniform to school, but where she works anything goes. She teaches formulas to the students every day. And she got tired of the campus life. So last year she decided to travel for a short time. Travel can free her from the daily grind. But when to leave was still pending. This idea sometimes distracted her from her work. Recently, she is making her Tourism plan for next month. Unfortunately, the ground sunk suddenly several days ago and was distorted. She was fed up because all her food inventory subsided and they can’t be eaten any more. And there's no rhyme or reason for police convicting her for this accident. Can she travel next month? She just has to sit tight. Only time will tell.

Corrections · 4

Could you help me correct my mistake？thanks！

>should be plural: "mistakes."

There is a rabbit, and she is a university professor.

>Sounds a bit odd/awkward. "There is a rabbit who is a professor." sounds more natural to me. Or, even more natural: "There is a rabbit who teaches at a university", to avoid repeating "is".

I always have to wear a uniform to school, but where she works anything goes.

>You could delete "always" if you wanted, but it's just a stylistic choice.

And she got tired of the campus life.

> Should be "she's tired" or "she is tired." And remove the "the" Also, starting with "And" sounds a little odd. You could say:

"Teaching formulas every day, she's tired of campus life."

"She teaches the same formulas every day, and she's tired of campus life."

So last year she decided to travel for a short time.

> "take a short trip" sounds more natural.

Travel can free her from the daily grind.

>"could", not "can". Also, you could say, "By traveling, she could escape the daily grind."

But when to leave was still pending.

>Sounds odd. You could say "It was still uncertain when she would leave" (closer to your original sentence, but sounds a bit formal or literary) or "She still wasn't sure when she would leave" (sounds more casual, conversational).

This idea sometimes distracted her from her work.

>I would say "This thought" or "These thoughts"—usually "idea" means... something more positive, definite or certain, I think, like an image of something. (Not always—this is a difficult thing to explain.)

Recently, she is making her Tourism plan for next month.

>I would say "she's been" rather than "she is". "Tourism plan": Capitalization. Also, I think most English speakers would say "travel plans" here rather than "her tourism plan".

Unfortunately, the ground sunk suddenly several days ago and was distorted. She was fed up because all her food inventory subsided and they can’t be eaten any more. And there's no rhyme or reason for police convicting her for this accident. Can she travel next month? She just has to sit tight. Only time will tell.

> I am not totally sure about the connection between the events in this part. But, looking at them as isolated sentences:

>"caved in" probably sounds more natural than "sunk". I'm not sure what we would say for "was distorted".

>all her food inventory: change to "her food supplies" or "all her food supplies"

>"subsided and they can’t be eaten any more": Sounds odd. I would change this to "are gone" or "have run out"

>"And there's no rhyme or reason for police convicting her for this accident." If you mean that the police have already convicted her, then maybe:

"And, without rhyme or reason, the police have convicted her of causing the incident."

If you don't mean that they've already convicted her, then:

"And there would be no reason for the police to convict her of causing the incident."

Or "And there would be no reason for the police to convict her of all people of causing the incident."

One general note: Be careful with tenses! There are quite a few changes in tense in the story, and they can feel a bit disorienting.

Could you help me correct my mistakes？thanks！

There was a rabbit, she was a university professor. (Stories are almost always in past tense and it looks wrong otherwise)

I always have to wear a uniform to school, but where she worked anything goes. She taught formulas to the students every day. She got tired of the campus life; so last year she decided to travel for a short time. Travel could free her from the daily grind.

But when the time came to leave was still unsure. (I don't really know what you mean hear but I tried my best)

This idea sometimes distracted her from her work.

Recently, she has been making her tourism plans for next month.

Unfortunately, the ground under her house subsided (the word subsided works better when talking about the ground itself) suddenly several days ago and was distorted. (This line didn't make much sense before I think it makes more sense now)

She was upset because all her food sunk with the house and with neither rhyme nor reason (this is how the phrase is said where I'm from May be different for others) the police were charging her for this accident. (These two lines were not obviously related to the line about the ground so I changed them to make it clearer).

Would she be able to travel next month? She will just have to sit tight. Only time will tell.

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