Please help me correcting this essay
We have more opportunity at present to Express freedom than our parents in their youth .Certainly freedom is a necessary condition for the existence of the individual . Since it is important for everyone to realize their potential in life . It can also teach the child self-discipline and responsibility for themselves. Thanks to freedom, the child can Express himself, because it is necessary for the formation of a confident personality.
But on the other hand, not all children know how to use freedom rationally .many violate the norms of morality and even the law.. media culture, the Internet can negatively affect teenagers for example they use it for entertainment.forgetting that the main thing in the life of any person is self-development .after all in Internet there is any information that to be sure helpful but they prefer is thus meaningless spend time Also any information which is shown children must be proven so as mass culture sometimes destroys moral values that leads to decline culture in society in a whole. modern parents buy everything that is necessary for their child forgetting about the upbringing of children. thus isolating themselves from their children. But children are not always ready to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions and their lives.
I believe that modern society needs to instill spiritual values with children. it will help us to properly dispose of freedom. And choose between right and wrong.
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Please help me correcting this essay
We have more opportunity currently (звучит лучше) to express/или exercise freedom than our parents had in their youth. Certainly, freedom is a necessary condition for the existence of the individual (не надо ставится точку. Вы можете соединить эти предложения потому что since - starts off dependent clauses) since it is important for everyone to realize their potential in life. It can also teach the child self-discipline and responsibility for themselves. Thanks to freedom, the child can express himself, (не надо ставиться запятую. Commas only follow dependent clauses and never precede them)because it is necessary for the formation of a confident personality.
But on the other hand, not all children know how to use freedom rationally. Many violate the norms of morality and even the law. Media culture and the internet can negatively affect teenagers; for example, they use it for entertainment, (adverbial clause so use comma here) forgetting that the main thing in the life of any person is self-development. After all, on the Internet there is so much information that is sure to be helpful, but they prefer to meaninglessly spend/waste (звучит даже лучше в этом контескте) time. Also any information which is shown children must be proven (I don't completely understand this sentence. I think you mean verified so Also, any information which is shown to children must be screened/checked/verified) so since mass culture sometimes destroys moral values that leads to cultural decline/decay in society in a whole. Modern parents buy everything that is necessary for their child, forgetting about the upbringing of children. Consequently, they isolate themselves from their children. But children are not always ready to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions and their lives.
I believe that modern society needs to instill spiritual values in children. It will help us to properly use freedom and to choose between right and wrong.
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Please help me correcting this essay
Today, we have more opportunities to express freedom that what our parents had in their youth. Freedom is certainly a necessary condition for the existence of an individual. It is important for everyone to realize their potential in life. It can also teach children self-discipline and responsibility. Thanks to freedom, children can express themselves, and be able to develop a confident personality.
On the other hand, not all children know how to use freedom rationally. Many violate the norms of morality and even the law. Media culture and the Internet can negatively affect teenagers. For example they use it for entertainment, forgetting that the main thing in the life of any person is self-development. After all, in the Internet there are lots of information that is helpful, but they prefer to spend time meaninglessly. Also any information which is shown to children must be proven because mass culture sometimes destroys moral values that leads to the decline of culture in a society. Modern parents buy everything that is necessary for their children forgetting about the upbringing of their children, thus isolating themselves from their children. But children are not always ready to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions and their lives. I believe that modern society needs to instill spiritual values to the children. It will help us to properly make use of our freedom to choose between right and wrong.
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I tried to fix some things. My english is far from perfect though...
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