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writing practice When job hunting, many people consider that salary or job title is the top priority. However, as hearing the news of employees who worked on terrible conditions like the excessive amount of tasks and too much overtime, and, who were harmed their health, workplace environment or job satisfaction have received great attention in recent years. Although both are essential factors to choose jobs, I think that job satisfaction is much more important for some reasons related to health, productivity, and the growth of the company. It is clear that people work for earning money, but it should not damage one's physical and mental health. Nevertheless, in the current highly-demanded stressful society that requires workers to immediately respond to a customer or boss without any situation, the number of people who have mental sick or impair their health have spiked exponentially. Considering the length of working age, the job that people keep working with joyfulness is more valuable than a bit higher salary. Furthermore, some research has shown that there is a strong correlation between job satisfaction and productivity. Although many companies have tried increasing productivity by setting an incentive, it has become clear that the workplace environment such as the relationship between colleagues or the task which employees feel rewarding, has affected productivity in these studies. Finally, raising worker's satisfaction brings the company to a high-talented employee and strengthen the company's competitiveness in the field. As society globalizes, many companies have come to compete with abroad businesses which can provide almost the same quality service or products at a lower price because their labor costs are still low. To survive today's society, attracting human resources by the company's reputation is crucial. In conclusion, although money is fascinating when thinking of job opportunities, I believe that job satisfaction brought by a comfortable workplace environment has several benefits not only for individuals but also companies and society: therefore, it outweighs. Thank you for reading this. I had to use more various grammars like condition[if] or subordinate clauses.

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writing practice

When job hunting, many people consider that salary or job title is the top priority.
However, as hearing the news of employees who worked on terrible conditions like the excessive amount of tasks and too much overtime, and, who were harmed harming their health (or, "who had their health harmed"), workplace environment or job satisfaction have received great attention in recent years.
Although both are essential factors to choose in choosing jobs, I think that job satisfaction is much more important for some reasons related to health, productivity, and the growth of the company.

It is clear that people work for earning in order to earn money, but it should not damage one's physical and mental health.
Nevertheless, in the current highly-demanded, stressful society that requires workers to immediately respond to a customer or boss without any situation hesitation, the number of people who have mental sick illness or impair their health have spiked exponentially.
Considering the length of working age, the job that people keep working with joyfulness is more valuable than a bit slightly higher salary.

Furthermore, some research has shown that there is a strong correlation between job satisfaction and productivity.
Although many companies have tried increasing productivity by setting an incentive, it has become clear that the workplace environment, such as the relationship between colleagues or the task which employees feel rewarding, has affected productivity in these studies.

Finally, raising worker's workers' (or just "worker") satisfaction brings the company to a high-talented highly talented employees and strengthens the company's competitiveness in the field. As society globalizes, many companies have come to compete with abroad businesses abroad (or "overseas businesses) which can provide almost the same quality service or products at a lower price because their (subject not clear here, so use the proper noun "overseas businesses' ") labor costs are still low. To survive today's society, attracting human resources by the company's reputation is crucial.

In conclusion, although money is fascinating when thinking of job opportunities, I believe that job satisfaction brought by a comfortable workplace environment has several benefits not only for individuals but also companies and society: therefore, it outweighs money alone.

Thank you for reading this. I had to use more various grammars like condition[if] or subordinate clauses.

Great Entry! Well written, thought out, insightful. Hope the corrections help! :-)

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