My short story
This short story contains the vocabulary and phrases that I have recently learnt. Thank you in advance for corrections and comments. "This would sound more natural" kind of comments are appreciated too.
A Starless Night
Feeling numb all over except his brain, he had been lying wide awake in the bed for over an hour now and it had passed only 2 minutes since he last checked it. Time apperantly had its own ideas of passing. "SURRENDER!" bellowed the brain. "We're exhausted, we should get some sleep" pleaded the body. It was of no use, body rolled over. He leapt to his feet and set off towards the window galumphing slightly. He stretched his arm and opened the window. Cool night air filled his chest. He peered through the deep dark night. How serene it was that the starless sky stood there. He lowered his gaze to the empty street. There was no sign of the daytime kerfuffle, which felt eerie this time. He clapped eyes on an owl. It was probably the owl that he had been hearing hooting but could never get sight of. It perched motionless on the pole at the corner and was busy with being amazing. He took this as a consolation to his sleep deprivation.
Edit: typos
Edit: Thank you so much but I don't understand why these two corrections are so different :( There is not a single common point except the typos.
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Corrections · 3
1
purple highlights - change in word order
yellow highlights - corrections
blue highlights - alternate suggestions
green highlights - omitted, unnecessary word endings/letters, words or phrases
My short story
This short story contains the vocabulary and phrases that I have recently learnt. Thank you in advance for corrections and comments. "This would sound more natural" kind of comments are appreciated too.
A Starless Night
Feeling numb all over except for his brain, he had been lying wide awake in the bed for over an hour now. and It had only been two minutes since he had last checked it.the clock/the time/his watch. Time apperantly had its own ideas about passing. "SURRENDER!" bellowed his brain. "We're exhausted, we should get some sleep" pleaded his body. It was of no use. His body rolled over. He leapt to his feet and set off towards the window, galumphing slightly. He stretched out his arms and opened the window. Cool night air filled his chest. He peered into the deep dark night. How serene it was, that the starless sky stood there. He lowered his gaze to the empty street. There was no sign of the daytime kerfuffle, and that felt eerie at this time. He clapped his eyes on an owl. It was probably the owl that he had been hearing hooting but could never catch sight of previously/before. It perched motionless on the pole on the corner and was busy with being amazing. He took this as a consolation for his sleep deprivation.
0
Thank you so much but I don't understand why these two corrections are so different :( There is not a single common point except the typos.
0
My short story
This short story contains the vocabulary and phrases that I have recently learnt learned. Thank you in advance for your corrections and comments. "This would sound more natural" kind of comments are appreciated too.
A Starless Night
Feeling numb all over except his brain, he had been lying wide awake in the bed for over an hour now and it had passed only 2 minutes since he last checked it. Time apperantly had its own ideas of passing. "SURRENDER!" bellowed the brain. "We're exhausted, we should get some sleep" pleaded the body. It was of no use, body rolled over. He leapt leaped to his feet and set off towards the window galumphing slightly. He streched stretched his arm and opened the window. Cool night air filled his chest. He peered through the deep dark night. How serene it was that the starless sky stood there. He lowered his gaze to the empty street. There was no sign of the daytime kerfuffle, which felt eery early this time. He clapped eyes on an owl. It was probably the owl that he had been hearing hooting but could never get sight of. It perched motionless on the pole at the corner and was busy with being amazing. He took this as a consolation to his sleep deprivation.
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