The got rough and no one with me . you know what , as far as I experienced there is no lord here if god is here then why he's always rude towards me and my destiny . I'm totally exhausted from what's happening in my life everything I was trying to do always have some problem come and that opportunity take away from my hands. if there is god and everything going on around the world is god's plan so why I'm so unlucky , why lord always taking test of mine . always leave me in difficult situation but when I taking over one thing it suddenly bring one more that will be much harder than before . what the problem of god have with me? I know every man have bad time and memories that help to stay your feet on ground but in my life it's not giving me a chance to fly . in addition , my best friends showing a rude and rough behavior towards me when I need him more . moreover I won't blame them cause it's not his fault it's my fault that I have not chose and failed to recognize them. time after time , everything would be very clear and my vision seems to be like blurry cause I got enough stitch up. where as , the thing is affect me more than them is I have been pride on my friends since we were in school time but now everything change with the time nothing remain like before. when I think that I should be clear cut and tell them that our friendship are truning to end . but one more thought blown my mind which is I read that somewhere "always be kind with everyone no matter how rude or bad they towards you " and one more "god's everywhere so he is taking test of our in many ways " . in brief , I want to say it's your life never ever depend on somebody else . no one comes when you are in difficulty only your homies support you. that's it for now . today I'm so disappointed and clear one thing do your work with yourself otherwise people's find advantage in you.