My dream last night
In another dream, I was in front of a huge elevator with my friends. We would like to see Tokyo's night as usual because I often went up to the highest floor to see an overwhelmingly sparkling night. But I didn't get how to use this elevator. Outside, there are more buttons than "up" and "down". They have 7 small squares with illustrations. Now I only can remember they have Hongkong and Tokyo buttons and other city's names which are well-known for night view. I chose Hong Kong. We came in the elevator and pressed 84. This elevator lifted in such an incredible speed that my heart seemed like out of beat. As soon as we reached the 84th floor, it transformed into a roller-coaster. That roller-coaster is built inside some buildings and curved inside the city like a dragon. We shouted crazily like we were going to die. Then my boyfriend called me, I woke up safely. However, if we had a chance to see Hongkong's night in that way, I don't mind taking that risk.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 1
0
My dream last night
In another dream, I was in front of a huge elevator with my friends. We would like wanted to see Tokyo at night as usual. I often went up to the highest floor to see an overwhelmingly sparkling night. But I didn't get how to use this elevator. Outside, there were more buttons than "up" and "down". They have It had 7 small squares with illustrations images. Now the only thing I remember is that it had buttons for Hong Kong and Tokyo and the names of other cities which are well-known for their night views. I chose Hong Kong. We went into the elevator and pressed 84. The elevator went up at such an incredible speed that my heart seemed to skip a beat. As soon as we reached the 84th floor, it transformed into a roller-coaster. The roller-coaster was built inside some buildings and curved inside the city like a dragon. We shouted crazily like we were going to die. Then my boyfriend called me, I woke up safely. However, if we had a chance to see Hong Kong at night in that way, I wouldn't mind taking that risk.
This is really cool, and I love the images you used like the rollercoaster dragon and your heartbeat. I've made a few corrections, but most of them are just changes to what I feel, as a native speaker, are just a bit more natural, rather than any real error. Some of them, though, we have to use - the difference between 'came' and 'went' might be useful for you to look at. Sometimes you change tenses - e.g. the elevator 'there are, they have...' and then 'I came / lifted' so it would be good to pick one or the other: past tense may be better to describe a dream, but present tense would work, as it would make the reader also feel like they were there in the moment, but it should be consistent. Sometimes it might be better to write 'the' as we know which elevator / rollercoaster, so we don't need 'that'. Overall, though this is very clear and well written :)
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
