when I see old man, I feel a bad pain in my heart, I lost my father ,I lost my life , I lost my pride .... I missed my father. After 4 years I cant believe it . when he dead I dead ,he dead while he smilled ,I kissed him and said goodbye dad,I LOVE you so much.....these days I DONT know know whyI m crying again, I want to die but I cant .......
Maybe it would cheer you up for me to say something amusing: one of my friends was in New York City one day, about 15 years ago. So he see this older (elderly) woman crossing the street and he offers to help her. Instead of being grateful, she gets cross (annoyed) with him because she interprets him as saying she isn't capable of doing these things. Maybe that's insenstive. But, a person lives on in the memories that others hold of that person. At 32, I've known three people who have died before their time, and I think of them almost every day.
I lost my grandmother a year and a half ago, so I understand where you are coming from. For a long time I would just sit still and stare into space and cry or curl up into a ball. My grandma was my everything. She was the one who would talk to me about my life since my mom didn't care and my dad was usually busy. Her hugs were the only thing that would comfort me if I was in a bad mood. One day, I was talking to my fiance and he deals with death in the opposite way, he is so strong in those situations. My grandma met him before she passed and she loved him. He would hold me until I was done crying and then talk to me about what I was thinking about. Eventually we talked about it and I realized that she wouldn't want me to be sad, she would want me to be happy and live my life.
I think that is what you need to do, find someone who you can talk to about it, and then try to make your life happy. If the death of your father is consuming your life, then at least try to make sure you have one 'happy moment' each day.
There is hope in Jesus He is the reason to live. He died for you to give u life and joy believe in him and cry out to him he will hear your prayers and satisfy your heart.
When I see an old/man woman I usually think, 'I should probably ask them if they want to sit in my spot, but I'm too lazy to stand.' Just kidding, I always give my seat to old people. Unless they look grumpy.
It is normal to deeply miss a dear loved one, Tania, but your own life must go on. I'm sure your father would want you to be happy and at peace. So that's what you should try to be!
Best wishes. -- Neil
