Wolfy, you’re spicing up the forum with your discussions. Don’t cheat on us by trolling another forum.

And yeah, as Susan said it. The solution is simple. Don’t get into a serious relationship, don’t get married. Then you can be a playboy and bon vivant all you want. 

Btw, about my personal opinion: I'm happily married with a bunch of kids. Your spouse is your chosen family, the one person you should be able to trust completely, who'll stand by you no matter what happens. By cheating, you betray that trust and you're not spicing things up, but destroy families and leave damaged people. In worst case your kids. I'd never do anything to hurt my kids. A little bit of excitement isn't worth it. 

You're obviously not married (or at least not happily), otherwise, you would understand that in a good marriage, there's no need to spice things up because the intimacy you have with "your person" is a thousand times more exciting and rewarding than a meaningless affair.

I think the modern population is moving toward not marrying when they are young.  Usually after people have lived quite a few years they start seeing reasons for tying oneself to one person and to be tied to one person-- if not, they usually wait longer and often do not marry.I think there are very few people who marry expecting they will have an affair, even if they know the statistics about how common affairs are.    

My personal view is based mostly on my many hours of helping people deal with their pain and the many people who have verbally shared with me their experiences related to cheating or being cheated on. I married young and part of what keeps me faithful is the studies that repeatedly show that people who have the least number of sexual partners in their life rate their sexual life as the best.  I also do not think either of my parents cheated or that my husband has cheated.  Between that knowledge and the experience I get from my clients,  I think it has made me a lot less vulnerable to cheat.  I am completely unable to look at this ¨spice¨ you talk about as something I would want.  I think of it as ¨drama¨-- some of which would be exciting but most of which would just be terribly stressful-- and in the end would only make me less happy. I agree with Dan that usually someone is ¨thunderstruck,¨  especially if the marriage is at a weak point.

I have had a lot of clients from open marriages, a lot of clients who cheated on their spouse, and several swingers-- including clients who became pregnant from men that their husbands set them up with. Even when both partners agree to the ¨spice¨ it does damage. I do not think open marriages tend to work.  And I certainly do not think deceiving your spouse is a good idea.  If you see no reason to limit yourself  to one person, it is better to be honest, have integrity, and not marry.